1. a: a feeling of consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance of one’s circumstances
b: faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way
2. the quality or state of being certain
Confidence is often mistaken for arrogance or self-obsession. But being confident and assertive is not about puffing up your chest or bringing others down. Real confidence will make you and everyone around you better.
“Just be who you are.” – Avery Sukker
If you’re an insecure little pimple on the face of the earth, “being who you are” is the last thing you want to do. Being you is what brought you here. Being you can’t help you, and it cannot help others.
You must gain confidence. There is no alternative.
But where do you start? How do you become confident if you’re naturally shy, reserved or anxious? Easy. You follow the steps outlined below to a T and you never look back.
Stop Thinking and Start Doing
The void of consumerism has sucked you in and left you longing for substance, meaning, and confidence.
Look at the people camping outside electronics stores in the blistering cold to be the first to throw their money away for a shiny piece of plastic. They’re literally begging for the right to be sheep.
Nothing will destroy confidence faster than conformity.
If you want confidence to enter your life you must demand more from yourself. Stop being a mere fish in the pond and become a shark. Stop daydreaming, pondering the impossibilities of life and start doing. Create something. Build something. Do something.
I’m not saying you need to be the next Michael Jackson, Thomas Edison or Vincent Van Gogh. I’m telling you to go out there and do shit.
You will derive supreme confidence knowing you’re building your legacy and making the world a better place with your work. But you must make a decisive mental shift. You will be on your own. You will bump heads with a lot of people, and you will have to fight off hordes of office cubicle zombies on a daily basis.
Lead the Field
The only way to confidence is through mastery.
Learn a skill, and become better than everyone else at that particular skill. If this sounds like a pain to you, you simply haven’t grasped your mission yet. You’re still stuck in the Matrix looking for the white rabbit.
But there is one thing out there you excel at. One thing, you can do better than anybody in the world. Find that thing. Master it. Become the best.
I could research and talk about nutrition and human performance all day every day. If it were the last thing I would do ’till the end of my days, I’d be perfectly fine with it.
No matter what you choose to do, your ambition must be to be the best.
Train to be the best in everything you do. Whether it’s building your body, lecturing in front of large audiences, picking up girls at your local Starbucks, or flipping burgers. Aim to be the best in everything you do.
Will I ever be the best at writing articles or doing muscle-ups? It doesn’t matter. I train with the goal of being the best in the world. Nothing but reaching for the top spot will ever satisfy this itch.
Become a Winner
“Winners focus on winning. Losers focus on winners.” – Conor McGregor
The pituitary gland (in your brain) produces luteinizing hormone which signals the leydig cells in your testes (balls) to produce the male androgen testosterone.
You could do all of the above, but if you lack testosterone, you’re never going to feel the sublime rush of confidence. You cannot be confident without sufficient amounts of testosterone coursing through your veins.
Let me rephrase that for you: No testosterone = No confidence. Simple as that.
Start living in a way that promotes hormonal health. Lose the gut, challenge yourself physically, eat better, manage your stress levels, and become a winner. Winning has shown to spike testosterone levels to a significant degree (in males and females).
Conduct yourself like a winner and make winning a daily habit. Anything you do habitually you get good at. Practice and get good at winning by writing a to-do list every morning and checking off everything on that list before the day’s end.
Every little objective completed will result in a surge of testosterone. Every little step towards the end goal will create momentum and fuel the fires of growth.
Success creates confidence and confidence creates success. It’s a vicious cycle.
It Must Always Start With the Body
If you can’t take your shirt off at the beach without feeling self-conscious, you’ll never know what confidence feels like. You’ll never exude confidence, because deep down inside, you wish you were someone else. Someone with a body. Someone other than you.
It must always start with the body.
“You’re saying I can’t be confident without being in shape?”
That is exactly what I’m saying. Get strong, get lean, and you’ll understand.
Thank you for reading